Frequently Asked Questions:
What price range are we looking at here?
It costs what it costs.
Seriously though, can you really put a price tag on making memories with your family and friends that will last a lifetime? If you really are that cheap, please know that Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break is very cost conscious. Many of the planned activities are FREE!
Some meals can be made at the house we will be staying at. Most of the time when we are dining out, it will be local places and not tourist traps with jacked up prices. I’m sure you can also get extra clam soup to go from Willy to hold you over too.
Activities that aren’t free, such as surf lessons, will be completely optional.
Are there any Zara stores in Puerto Rico?
Yes, there are two.
Will we be visiting any of them?
No.
Will participation in all the activities be required?
No. Participation is always optional. If you would rather relax by the pool, go for a walk, or explore a beach on your own – go for it.
What if there is an emergency and we need to go to a hospital?
The hospitals in Puerto Rico are world class.
Auxilio Mutuo Hospital is an internationally accredited, multi-specialty hospital, providing world-class healthcare services for over 138 years. Located in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Auxilio Mutuo is a leader in cancer treatment, liver, kidney, pancreas, blood and marrow transplants, orthopedics, and other medical specialties. Easily accessible from the San Juan International Airport, it is just 5 minutes away from popular tourist areas with many hotels, restaurants, and beautiful beaches. Auxilio Mutuo is a preferred institution for medical tourism at one of the world’s best destinations.
I know Puerto Rico is part of the United States and not a third world country, how safe is it really?
I like to think of Puerto Rico as the “Collinsville of the Caribbean” which may help address your concerns.
- Much like Collinsville, Puerto Rico also has a large Spanish speaking population.
- Collinsville and Puerto Rico may not be your first choice of a destination, but there are worst places to end up.
- Both locations have areas you don’t want to find yourself in after dark, but also have some really fun spots if you know where to go.
- Collinsville is the horseradish capital of the world and Puerto Rico is the Rum capital of the world.
- Both have a super WalMart.
- When visiting either Collinsville or Puerto Rico, your expectations are low which just makes it that much easier for you to exceed the expectations.
- The overall CrimeGrade.org score for Collinsville is C+ and for Puerto Rico it is C-.
- True, you are slightly more likely to get murdered in Puerto Rico than Collinsville, but we will try to avoid the more homicidal areas for the most part.
I see “hiking” in the itinerary. Is there a lot of hiking? Are we talking 3 hour treks?
Some secluded locations like hidden beaches, pristine forest waterfalls, and swimmable caves will require hikes to get there. However, these are 20-30 minute hikes at the most and over mostly flat terrain.
Can you just give Cori all the details so we don’t have to deal with visiting a stupid website or being uninvited if we ask questions at the wrong time or place?
No.
Hypothetically if I have another group of friends, let’s call them my “Nashville trip friends”, would this trip be more fun than say going to Nashville with them?
Yes, definitely.
Are exciting adventures really guaranteed? And if so, how can you possibly guarantee that?
Exciting adventures are 100% guaranteed!* The catch is, of course, that “exciting” and “adventure” can really be defined as anything. Taking your kid to a Mexican hospital? Exciting adventure! Losing your wallet at a Florida airport? Exciting adventure! Getting squirrels out of Keith’s attic? Exciting adventure! Car getting attacked by garden hose? Exciting adventure! Picking up a suitcase full of meat that has been sitting in Customs for 3 days? Exciting adventure!
Can we attend for partial dates?
No. Attending for partial dates throws a monkey wrench into the intricate planning and logistics necessary to pull this together. If you can’t commit to being there the whole time, you are only cheating yourself out of the best experience of your life.
It has come to my attention that there are interested parties that would like to be a part of Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break but would not be able to fly to Puerto Rico on Saturday due to some jack-ass scheduling out of town Lacrosse games on that Friday and Saturday.
We at Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break are considering an option to allow this group to fly out on Sunday instead. While this means they will miss a day of action packed adventures, this may be workable.
Stay tuned for updates and be prepared to submit your essays.
Are Cry Baby Bitches allowed on the trip?
Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break has a strict No Cry Baby Bitches Allowed policy.
Will a suitcase of meat be involved?
Nothing can be ruled out. The general rule for Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break is “Be prepared for anything!”
However, we strive to create unique and one of a kind adventures and not just rehash the same ol’ same ol’.
Since the suitcase full of meat has already been attempted (and failed miserably), it is very unlikely this trip will involve another suitcase full of meat. But, it cannot entirely be ruled out.
Should I pack my Beekeeper costume?
Good question. As stated above, the general rule is “Be prepared for anything” but the full rule is actually, “Be prepared for anything…but pack light.”
If we were to find ourselves in a situation where we were surrounded by Puerto Rican bees (which may be unlikely but, again, cannot be entirely ruled out), being prepared with a beekeeper costume would definitely come in handy.
Likewise, if we were to find ourselves going to a Puerto Rican costume party (much more likely), the beekeeper costume would also come in handy in that situation.
Seeing that the beekeeper costume would prepare you for multiple scenarios- I’ll allow it. However, to make room for it and to keep with the pack light directive, you must remove 2 or 3 of your O’Neil fishing shirts from your luggage.
I demand to have a say.
Thanks not a question Keith.
OK, how about “Can I make a suggestion?”
No.
Is the drinking age in Puerto Rico really 18?
Yes.
If I am 18 will you buy me a beer?
Sure Bobby. There’s this local brewpub I’d like to try. They have a couple IPAs I’m sure you’ll enjoy more than the Keystone Light you are used to.
Is San Juan really the oldest city in the United States?
Yes.
Will Justin’s Unhinged Spring Break include other historical facts and interesting pieces of information like that?
Yes and at least half of them will be true.
Are there flights from Knoxville, TN to San Juan?
Yes, both Delta and American fly from McGhee Tyson airport in Knoxville to San Juan. Welcome to the adventure Caroline!
*Determinations on what is an “exciting adventure” are at Justin’s sole discretion.